You're sending me conflicting messages and it's putting me in a position where I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help you. And I want to help you. Like I said, you've been around for me when I needed you — I'd love to return the favor.
And if the reply to that is "you can help me by not helping me," don't even bother typing it.
OH IRONYYYYYY
And if the reply to that is "you can help me by not helping me," don't even bother typing it.