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[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

Comments

WHATEVER DATE IS APPROPRIATE.

[crossbearing]

Saul, I just overheard a librarian having a fit over a man with a bright shirt and a duck destroying her library.

( A beat. This may be her teacher voice. It's scarier than her regular voice. )

What did you do, Saul?

[5055034455]

[SO UNFAZED???/]

Wow. That sounds like the setup to a bad joke.

[crossbearing]

Most of your shirts are.

( Yeah, no. )

[5055034455]

Zing!

[crossbearing]

( There is a long silence. Just. Tear off the bandaid, Saul. Just tell her about the duck. )

[5055034455]

Okay, first of all, we didn't destroy anything.

[crossbearing]

( A sigh. )

Remember that talk we had about establishing a positive image?

( Okay, they didn't exactly have that talk.

But she sort of hoped they didn't need to have that talk after they had that other talk. )

[5055034455]

[Saul doesn't remember that talk, no.]

You should've been there! It was hilarious. Comedy's a positive thing, right? I heard some laughter.

[crossbearing]

Do you want people to take your projects seriously?

( SAUL PLS

"comedy's a positive thing" was never her father's business model gosh

IN FACT YOU KNOW WHO LIKES COMEDY, SAUL

THE JOKER )

[5055034455]

[why so serious, helena]

You sound like my mother.

[crossbearing]

( she'll cut you )

Your mother must be an intelligent woman.

[5055034455]

I promise I won't accidentally cause a teenage girl to turn into a duck while fleeing from a pissed off librarian and accidentally stealing a book and knocking over a cart in the process ever again. Is that what you wanna hear?

[crossbearing]

( Oh, Jesus Christ. So it wasn't all an exaggeration. )

God-- ( faintly exasperated) I'm just saying that you might want to invest in a PR department or think about how what you're doing will reflect on the way you conduct business around this place. That's not my specialty.

( Because, seriously. )

[5055034455]

Wow, really? Public relations? Not your specialty?

[He clicks his tongue.]

If you don't think I can spin this should it become a problem, we obviously haven't been spending enough time around each other.

[crossbearing]

Hard to believe, ain't it?

( So sarcastic. Particularly because she never uses ain't except when being obnoxious or when being too polished with her grammar for the Huntress would seem off. In fact, she may have corrected Saul's grammar if ever there were a window for it. Teachers. )

I'm just curious as to how it got to that point. Or if you're going to use a disguise to get back into the library.

( Okay so maybe it's kind of funny. )

[5055034455]

[OHO WHAT'S THAT? Sarcasm? Is Helena being playful?? Is that a thing that's happening right now?!]

I'm not even sure how it got to that point, to be honest. But yeah, I've got a total plan set up. Wig, glasses, the whole shebang. I'm ready. A more clever infiltration has not been planned since the days of Troy.

[crossbearing]

( NO. yes

shut up don't get used to it )

Or you could apologize.

[5055034455]

You won't get jealous if I send that poor librarian a teddy bear too, will you?

[crossbearing]

( so it was him. )

So long as you don't regret giving up your collection.

[5055034455]

What, like I have a horde of them hidden in my closet in case of emergency?

[crossbearing]

Essentially.

[5055034455]

That's preposterous.

[crossbearing]

Considering why I had to make this call in the first place?

( Well, let's just say she doesn't think it's all that preposterous. )

[5055034455]

[She has a point.]

Whatever. If you want to imagine me locking myself in a dark closet full of teddy bears whenever I'm sad, hey, who am I to tell you how to spend your free time?

[crossbearing]

That's curiously specific.

You know, it's most important that you accept yourself, Saul.