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Take good care of Jesse for the next two weeks, Mister! Make sure someone helps with his cookie stand for the new guys.

Going on a mission for a few days

( Sometimes people make claims about being the ones who knock. Or the one who knocks. Only when they do, it's meant to be a threat, even if delivered as a lie and indicating a confidence that doesn't exist.

Collette is one who knocks because she wants to be let inside. She raps her knuckles on Saul's door, a bundled wrapped in colorful red cloth in her lap. )

Saul, are you home?

[As soon as Saul answers the call, Steph speaks, not bothering with anything like pleasantries:]

He's here. How should I proceed?

[She's all Batgirl, all business, if only because things between Steph and Saul are so awkward right now.]

[This is a terrible idea.

This is the worst idea in a long list of terrible ideas, but it's been a few days (not enough days) and she feels like this is important.]

i had tea with jesse.

this is worse than i realized, isn't it?

I know he's here.

Hey, Saul, it's, uh - it's Artie Nielsen. I was hoping I could get your help with some info-gathering, since Claudia is - yyyyyet again! - trying to bite off more than she's able to swallow at the moment and I'd rather do the legwork than see her try and practically kill herself in the process like she always does because she sees a cliff and thinks "Oh hey, a cliff, maybe I should leap over it instead of asking Artie if it's a good idea first", and then I end up with a heart attack trying to get hold of some kind of parachute or trampoline or hang-glider and --

You know what, that got away from me really fast. Just -

- just call me back, okay?

Hello. Do you have a moment?

[The next time he enters or leaves his apartment, Saul will find small baggie tacked to the door with thirty marques inside and a short note attached, scrawled in messy handwriting:]

sorry about the wait :)

Mr. Goodman, I thought about your offer. I'll accept, under certain conditions.

were you at the hold yesterday?

found her, she's fine, teenage boys are the stupidest fucking creatures on earth.

Fuck everything, Goodman; they are all SO FUCKING STUPID.

[Hi Saul, enjoy the pound of expensive, dark roast coffee beans that are sitting on your desk one morning.

They're adorned with a note that simply reads:

Enjoy.

Max.

Because she wants him to owe her.]

Saul, I just overheard a librarian having a fit over a man with a bright shirt and a duck destroying her library.

( A beat. This may be her teacher voice. It's scarier than her regular voice. )

What did you do, Saul?

[So... she noticed that the tracking device planted on Walt's tablet stopped working, and then double checked on the network to see his name no longer there. It's not hard to put two and two together, and while her own feelings are mostly relieved (one less thing to keep an eye on) she doesn't know Saul or Jesse well enough to know how they'll handle the situation.

She stares at her tablet in silence for a while, wondering how she should approach this, or even if she has a right to, but eventually she knows that she has to say something to Saul. Even after everything, he's her friend.]

are you okay?

[It's not much, but it's better than nothing.]

Coffee?

ricin

[that's all she has to say, she wants to see how he responds]

[She can't do this.

She's not sure, exactly, when she comes to that realization, but it's probably sometime while she's shouting at Jesse about forgiving himself for his mistakes. And she knows, even as she's saying it, that she'd be a hypocrite if she didn't give the same chance to Saul.

But mostly, she just can't be angry anymore. The capacity for it is gone, like she's hit her limit or burnt out, after so much screaming and fury and pain. Saul helped Walter poison Jesse's kid, and they all have to live with that, but she can't be angry about it anymore. She just wants to stop hurting.

It's how she ends up in Saul's room in the middle of the night, watching him sleep for a second before she moves closer.

She does two things in one moment, the first is placing her hand gently over his mouth, so that if he startles when he wakes, he can't shout, and the second is saying his name.]

Saul, it's Steph, it's okay.

[Getting that out quickly, if quietly, the words all out in one breath as he wakes.]

SAUL

I'm bored

if anyone talks about leaving on a mission or heading to the outlands or anything you can't let them

if they try and you can't stop them call me and i'll help

and don't you fucking dare go anywhere.

[Steph you're so good at this!!!!]

[When the call goes to voicemail, there's a long stretch of silence, because she'd been praying that maybe he was still here, that maybe there was another reason she couldn't find him after the party.

But he'd answer her call, if he could.]

Saul.

[Her voice wavers, cracks, and she has to press her hand against her mouth to stop a sob. She can't keep losing people, and somehow losing him is worse than losing Ellie, because she knew what was happening. She should have kept him safe.]

I'm sorry. I-- god. [And then she can't stop the threatening tears. There's more silence, punctuated only by shaking gasps for air, before she finds her voice again.] I'm going to come get you, I promise. Just... just stay safe, please.

[Another painful stretch of silence. She doesn't know why she didn't just hang up as soon as she realized he wasn't answering, but she needed to say something, she needed to leave a message for when he comes back. Because he will, he has to. She's going to bring them home.]

I-- [I love you, but the words are caught in her throat and all she can do is hang up and cry.]

we have a problem, call me when you have time

[Jesse is making their lives difficult, again.]

Honorable Goodman, it is Anne Boleyn.

I would ask after thee. Knowing what torment you must have undergone, I thought it best to allow you team to heal proper, but I should worry if I wait any longer.

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