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[She has to switch to audio, because she needs her hands free.

As soon as the feed connects she starts talking, the words rushed, panic obvious in her voice.]

Sort of. I thought she was just upset about something, you know? Because sometimes she gets like that, if something happens to set her off and it's okay, I can't talk 'cause I've spent weeks holed up in one of my safe houses instead of coming home. I go there and she goes to the Outlands and then when we feel better we come back and talk about it.

[She shouldn't be talking to Saul about Ellie, that's not fair, but now she's started she isn't sure how to stop.]

She was gonna leave without saying goodbye in person, just called me and said she'd be in the Outlands for a week to hunt and stuff. We did meet up before she went, but she was kind of.... off? Withdrawn. I didn't wanna push 'cause she never pushes me, and she said it was fine, so I was gonna give her time to sort it out.

[A breath, shaky, and she realizes that she's rambling.

There's a long silence, and then, defeated:]

I just thought she was mad at me.

[That she's talking about Ellie doesn't matter — it's how she's talking that hurts. She sounds so afraid. He has no idea what to do about it.

When he finally responds, his voice is calm and a little quiet. Maybe that will help.]

But now you think something else is going on because of what happened with Joel and the other Ellie?

Yeah. [an exhale, shaky.] Yeah, 'cause it was so out of place. I mean, I don't know him well, but Ellie - little Ellie - was really hurt.

[Which means she was surprised, which means it's not normal.]

So I looked back through the network, I haven't been paying enough attention lately. [There's a mutter there that could be so fucking stupid, before she gets back on track.] They're not the only ones leaving. Something's not right.

When did people start leaving?

[It's important to keep her focused on the details so he can get the information he needs and get her thinking a little more clearly. If she's trying to do her job right now, so is he.]

And were they all acting —

[And then he thinks, oh, shit.]

Kagura. I thought that was weird. Who else?

[It takes her a little while to respond, because she's double checking her notes and making sure she has everything right.

She knows she needs to shut down everything and focus, but it's so hard.]

Kagura seems like the earliest, Ellie was a day later. Toph was another, and she seemed kind of... mechanical.

[Like she was running on autopilot.]

There has to be a reason.

[For who left. If she can figure out a pattern maybe it will help find them.]

[So the connection he's making between Adam and this is obvious, but he really doesn't want to think about it.

He's silent for a bit, too, though the scratch of a pen against paper is audible.]

Okay. Don't jump to conclusions, and don't go running off after them. Not alone.

I'm not!

[It's snapped, angry, because don't jump to conclusions feels like an accusation, and she already knows that she's not doing this properly.

He doesn't to remind her,.

But barely a second passes before she's dragging in a painful breath, telling herself it's not his fault.]

Sorry. Shit, sorry.

[It's easier in a straight up fight, she can just put all her fear and worry and emotions into a little box in her head to deal with later, but there's no instant danger right now, nothing to distract her. It's harder to compartmentalize.]

I've got-- I won't go alone. Here.

[There's a program file sent to his tablet, so that he can access the tracking device she's stuck into her arm.]

[Saul's glad this isn't video, because he flinches when she snaps, and then — for a moment — he just looks sad. It's an exhausted kind of sadness, born from this whole situation. They never get a break, do they? Any of them.

He doesn't say anything again until he's almost sure of what he's looking at.]

Is this you?

Yeah.

[It's her.

She trusts him with this, because this isn't a temporary measure.]

It's inserted near the artery in my wrist, so even if something happens, I can't take it out.

[Not by herself, not without surgery.

So even if she's mind controlled like the others, they can't take her without the tracker. Not alive, at least.]

[Again, he's glad this isn't video, so she can't see the way he touches the screen where the little marker indicating Steph's location is.

After another pause:] I'll help you find her. Did you talk to anyone else about this yet?

Oracle, and she'll probably tell the Birds.

[It sounds so dumb]

And the other Ellie, 'cause I couldn't let her think Joel had just left her. [She knows what that feels like, that sort of betrayal. It's how she felt when she found out about Saul helping poison a kid.

There a pause, and the sound of her roughly pushing her hands through her hair.]

This'd be over by now if Kara hadn't left.

[It would have been so easy, even if she hates herself a little bit for wanting to rely on powers.]

Edited 2013-09-12 15:46 (UTC)

I don't know if it'd be that easy, Steph. This could be anything. Just —

[What he's about to say is so stupid, and he knows she's not going to listen, but he has to say it.]

Be careful, okay? I'll do some poking around to see if I can find anything out.

She can track people by their heartbeat.

[It's not really an argument, she just says it tiredly, because it doesn't matter, anyway.

She can't even muster the energy for her usual, flippant I'm always careful.]

You too. This whole thing's been played to keep us from being suspicious, I don't wanna know what'll happen if they realize it's failed.

[It's why she's picked who she talked to. It's why this message is encrypted even more than usual, because she wants to keep it secret.]

[That's a good point. Saul can't just take this to the network, can he?

He sighs, then peers down at his screen again, watching the map.]

Did it hurt? Putting that tracking device in, I mean.

[It takes her a moment to answer, because she's all tangled up in panic and has to change gears.]

Kind of, yeah. Mostly 'cause I put it in an awkward spot and didn't wanna use an anaesthetic.

[She could have, but that would've lost her the use of her arm for too long.]

Of course you didn't.

[He only sounds mildly reproachful.]

Is it safe?

[She didn't have time to waste.]

Yeah, I mean-- I'd rather an actual doctor do it, but I've been trained.

If —

[There's another pause.]

If something does happen, who should I go to?

Dinah Lance, she's been on the network a bit.

[She's less hush-hush about the whole secret identity thing, even if she... also mentioned Babs and Helena.

Maybe they should talk to her about that.]

[Saul recognizes the name, but he hasn't spoken to her yet.]

Will she trust me?

I'll tell her she can.

[At least it isn't Helena.]

And I'll talk to Oracle, I can get her to contact you if something happens, she'll trust you.

[Babs likes Saul, and she's more filled in than most people on... everything.]

Okay. And if I start to act weird, or if I try to leave — don't let me go.

[Might as well plan for all possibilities.]

[Silence.

Then:]

Am I allowed to sedate you if it gets bad?

[Because she doesn't know what might happen if someone's stopped from leaving, and she doesn't want him to hurt himself or someone else.]

Yeah. Do whatever you need to do.

[People tried to stop Adam. Tried to sedate him.

Saul needs to stop thinking about that.]

It's gonna be okay, Saul.

[Nevermind that she's barely maaged to drag herself out of constant panic, she needs to reassure him.]

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