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[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

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pets

[5055034455]

[See, that's Saul's concern: that she won't even have to kidnap Mike, because she's just going to want to go home with her new human bestie after all this.

Saul purses his lips and offers Steph the mug.]

You better not be trying to recruit my cat to the dark side.

[controlledvariable]

[She sets the empty plate on the nightstand before accepting the coffee, smiling up at Saul as she curls her fingers around the mug.

Coffee is even better than pancakes.]

I'm already making her a cape.

[Steph no.]

[5055034455]

Yeah?

[WAIT FOR IT...]

Are you also gonna make her —

[Pause. He takes a sip from his mug.]

A catsuit?

[controlledvariable]

[.....

She laughs way harder than she should, carefully clutching her mug so that it doesn't spill even as she's kind of hanging her head and laughing.]

Oh my god. [that was awful] Get out.

[Steph it's his room.]

[5055034455]

[Well, okay. If she insists.

He shrugs and walks out.

WHAT NOW, STEPH?]

[controlledvariable]

[WHATEVER!!!

She has Mike, who is cuter than Saul, for the record.

But really she just sighs and clambers out of bed, ignoring Mike's protests, picking up her plate in one hand and holding the mug in the other as she heads into the kitchen so she can put the dirty dishes in the sink.

Then she'll go find Saul.]

[5055034455]

[For the record, Mike is the cutest thing in the universe.

Steph won't have to look far; Saul's already in the kitchen, rolling his sleeves up at the sink. 509 policy dictates that He Who Makes the Mess Shall Clean It. This may be a swingin' bachelor pad, but that doesn't mean it has to be filthy. And Saul is fussy, right? So he likes to clean up immediately.

When Steph appears, he grins wryly at her.]

Look who finally got outta bed.

[controlledvariable]

[She'd help, but she's got a mug of coffee that she wants to drink, and it's nice to just not worry about things for a little while.]

I could've gotten up earlier if I wanted to.

[So insulted!!!

Whatever, Saul, she's just going to finally take a sip of her coffee and, uh.

Well, it's the first time she's had good coffee since Baltimore, and the sound she makes may or may not be a whimper.]

Where did you get this?

[She needs to know.]

[5055034455]

[steph r u ok]

...what?

[WAIT, NO. His brain is back on-line. He knows what she said.]

Oh, uh. A friend gave it to me. No idea where she got it, though.

[controlledvariable]

[brb pressing her face into the mug and inhaling slowly. No one should look that blissful about coffee.]

God.

[Steph

Stop.]

That's not fair, why do you get good coffee?

[5055034455]

[Saul had the same moment too, but in private.

He promptly turns his attention to the dishes. Yup. Dishes. So fun.]

Because I'm charming.

[controlledvariable]

[Yeah well.]

I can be charming!

[No she can't.]

[5055034455]

[If he wanted to be an actual jerk toward Steph, he'd toss a skeptical look her way. He does think she's charming, though, in her own way that maybe only works on him.

What he does instead is flash her one of his insincere-but-convincing lawyerly smiles, chin tilted down slightly, one eyebrow up.]

Not as charming as me.

[controlledvariable]

[She makes a face at him.]

You're misprouncing smarmy.

[Wow]

[5055034455]

Am I supposed to be offended by that?

[He flicks some water at her.]

[controlledvariable]

Well it sure wasn't a compliment.

[Excuse you, sir.

She takes a step back, coffee clutched protectively to her chest as if a tiny bit of water might ruin it.]

[5055034455]

It's not smarm, okay? My ancestors call it chutzpah.

[Technically, neither of them are positive adjectives.

But Saul's been called way worse.]

[controlledvariable]

Do those even mean the same sort of thing?

[Judging him so hard as she sips her coffee.]

[5055034455]

Sort of.

[Not really.

Maybe.

In some contexts...?

He flicks more water at her, this time aiming directly for the mug.]

[controlledvariable]

[DENIED!

She turns her back to him so that water can't get anywhere near the mug.]

You're so full of shit.

[Looking over her shoulder at him while she keeps her coffee safe.

myprecious.gif]

[5055034455]

[Whatever.

Another flick. So what if he can't get at the coffee? He can still get the rest of her.]

Maybe a little.

[controlledvariable]

A lot.

[Saul can u not]

Do that one more time, and I'll drown you in the sink.

[DON'T THINK SHE WON'T]

[5055034455]

[f l i c k]

[controlledvariable]

[Well.

Steph's smile drops, and she takes a moment to carefully set her mug down on the bench before advancing on Saul.

She won't actually drown him but she wants to see what he'll do.]

[5055034455]

[He does nothing. Even if she wants to drown him, she can't, because there isn't enough water in the sink. Unless it's waterboarding she has in mind, but no — she's not the only one who thinks someone in this kitchen is full of shit.

And also there's the fact that his hands are soaked, so this might be a pretty dumb idea on her part.]