[exsilium] contact

[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

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[5055034455]

Well, you know how it is. Some people pull pigtails, other people...

[He trails off, smirks.]

[controlledvariable]

Dress up as a superhero to get my attention?

[No that's probably not where he was going with that.]

[5055034455]

[It's not, but:]

Oh, is that what I have to do? Man. I've been going about this all wrong.

[controlledvariable]

[She slowly raises an eyebrow.]

Because what you've been doing so far clearly hasn't gotten my attention.

[She needs to stop talking.

But really.

She was in his bed.]

[5055034455]

[And he does the same, barely able to hold back a smirk.]

Has it?

[controlledvariable]

I'm not answering that, your ego doesn't need any help.

[Because saying that obviously doesn't answer the question anyway.]

[5055034455]

[No, that doesn't answer it at all. And he's totally not beaming like the smug little shit he is. Nope.]

[controlledvariable]

God, shut up.

[He didn't say anything...]

[5055034455]

I didn't say anything!

[He tries to feign a pout, but he can't even do that because he's still smirking too much.]

Jeez, Steph. So defensive.

[controlledvariable]

I could hear you thinking.

[She regrets everything.]

[5055034455]

I don't think so.

[And now his smirk is suggesting something entirely different.

Maybe now is a good time to reach for his own mostly untouched, too-cold coffee.]

[controlledvariable]

[Wow, yep, she can totally get what his smirk is suggestion, and has to look anywhere but at Saul. She really hopes she isn't blushing (she is).]

I don't know how anyone puts up with you.

[just saying]

[5055034455]

[She should leave. Pronto. Because if this was dangerous before, it's downright perilous now — no one's home, no one's going to be home for a while, Steph is still here and now she's blushing and the last time Saul made her blush...

He swallows a gulp of coffee, then allows his shoulders to rise and fall in a nonchalant shrug.]

Barely, that's how.

[controlledvariable]

[Yup.

She finished her coffee about two minutes ago, and has been just nursing the empty mug, before she decides to give up on it.]

And yet you're still so damn smug.

[She's just going to take a moment to wash up her mug, setting it with the rest of the dishes once she's done.]

[5055034455]

[And yet a lot of things, Steph.

Saul catches her around her waist, again, when she's close enough. It's almost reflexive, now that she seems to be okay with it, but it doesn't last long; all he does this time is press a kiss to her temple before he lets go.]

What's on the agenda for the rest of the day?

[It's curious, it's innocent, and she's free to stay if she wants, of course — but he knows this might be what finally snaps her out of whatever world she's been living in since showing up last night, and that this might be what drives her out of 509. If that's what happens, fine. And if she stays, fine.

But he doesn't know what he'll do if she keeps drifting into his gravitational field like this, because every time it gets that much harder for him to keep from kissing her.]

[controlledvariable]

[He really needs to stop doing that, and she really needs to not wish that he'd kept hold instead of letting go.

Whether it's that or the question that earns a sigh is hard to tell, but she runs her hands through her hair, idly fussing at it like she might put it up, before realizing she hasn't got an elastic.

Mostly, though she's just buying time while she tries to work out how to answer that.]

I was supposed to train with Lisbeth.

[She doesn't want to, though, not when she knows it's going to mean being on the end of Lisbeth's frustration and anger at the situation with Jesse.]

[5055034455]

[Saul looks at Steph like she just stomped on his foot: eyes wide and a little hurt. The one person he hasn't spoken to about any of this, even though they'd seen each other at the party, is Lisbeth.

She has no idea.]

Lisbeth doesn't know. About the suicide attempt, I mean. I don't know if she —

[He bites his lip, thinking.]

She might not even know about Walter. I don't know what Jesse told her, or if he even said anything at all. She probably just thinks he's using too much again.

[controlledvariable]

[That wasn't her intention, and her expression is apologetic as she listens.]

I got the impression she doesn't know much.

[She doesn't like it, not when Lisbeth is involved in all this just because she's with Jesse, but it's also not Steph's place to tell her.]

Think she just wanted to hit someone really hard for a while. [A wry smile, because she knows what that feels like.] I wasn't gonna tell her anything.

[5055034455]

[He knows that's not what she meant. He's not blaming her; it's his own fault for not thinking of the one person who deserves, more than Steph and Sonya and anyone, to be kept in the loop, but Saul worries.

Lisbeth might consider this the final straw, and if Jesse loses her...

God, this feels familiar.]

You're not a punching bag, Steph.

[controlledvariable]

You should've seen me when I started.

[The whole... vigilate thing, she means.

Fighting with Cass was rough.]

But it's fine, I know how to move with a hit.

[So she's only sort of being a punching bag.]

[5055034455]

[That doesn't help.

Saul's not trying to look as disapproving and worried as he does, but he can't really stop himself.]

[controlledvariable]

Saul.

[She sighs.]

You don't have to worry about me. Lisbeth's not gonna break my nose or anything.

[Probably not.]

[5055034455]

It's not your nose I'm worried about.

[Maybe all the other times she talked like this felt different because she didn't know about his feelings for her. All the jokes she's made about getting her ass kicked, all the ways in which she's shrugged off her past traumas like they were no big deal...

It hurt then; it hurts much more, now, and Saul's staring at her like — how can you say things like that, when you know somebody loves you?]

[controlledvariable]

[There's another flippant reply on the tip of her tongue, but as soon as she actually looks at him, all the words are gone.

She feels so guilty it hurts, a pressure in her chest, even though she's not really sure why, except that she feels awful for making him look at her like that.]

It was a joke. It's not-- It doesn't matter.

[Maybe she should apologize, but she doesn't want to make it seem like a big deal.

It was just a joke, even if it was also partly true, but it doesn't matter, not really. It's just how things are.]

[5055034455]

[He should probably be used to this by now.

That doesn't mean it shouldn't matter, though. It matters to him a whole hell of a lot and he's sure it matters to everyone else who cares about her, but if there's one thing he's learned in the past handful of days, it's that some people are just wired the wrong way. There's nothing he can do about that. He's only a lawyer.

She reminds him so, so much of Jesse, sometimes.]

Just be careful, okay?