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[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

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[5055034455]

[If he wanted to be an actual jerk toward Steph, he'd toss a skeptical look her way. He does think she's charming, though, in her own way that maybe only works on him.

What he does instead is flash her one of his insincere-but-convincing lawyerly smiles, chin tilted down slightly, one eyebrow up.]

Not as charming as me.

[controlledvariable]

[She makes a face at him.]

You're misprouncing smarmy.

[Wow]

[5055034455]

Am I supposed to be offended by that?

[He flicks some water at her.]

[controlledvariable]

Well it sure wasn't a compliment.

[Excuse you, sir.

She takes a step back, coffee clutched protectively to her chest as if a tiny bit of water might ruin it.]

[5055034455]

It's not smarm, okay? My ancestors call it chutzpah.

[Technically, neither of them are positive adjectives.

But Saul's been called way worse.]

[controlledvariable]

Do those even mean the same sort of thing?

[Judging him so hard as she sips her coffee.]

[5055034455]

Sort of.

[Not really.

Maybe.

In some contexts...?

He flicks more water at her, this time aiming directly for the mug.]

[controlledvariable]

[DENIED!

She turns her back to him so that water can't get anywhere near the mug.]

You're so full of shit.

[Looking over her shoulder at him while she keeps her coffee safe.

myprecious.gif]

[5055034455]

[Whatever.

Another flick. So what if he can't get at the coffee? He can still get the rest of her.]

Maybe a little.

[controlledvariable]

A lot.

[Saul can u not]

Do that one more time, and I'll drown you in the sink.

[DON'T THINK SHE WON'T]

[5055034455]

[f l i c k]

[controlledvariable]

[Well.

Steph's smile drops, and she takes a moment to carefully set her mug down on the bench before advancing on Saul.

She won't actually drown him but she wants to see what he'll do.]

[5055034455]

[He does nothing. Even if she wants to drown him, she can't, because there isn't enough water in the sink. Unless it's waterboarding she has in mind, but no — she's not the only one who thinks someone in this kitchen is full of shit.

And also there's the fact that his hands are soaked, so this might be a pretty dumb idea on her part.]

[controlledvariable]

[Fine, she won't drown him.

But now that she's closer to the sink she's going to splash him with water.]

[5055034455]

[This is so gross.

Closer to the sink means closer to Saul, so he loops an arm around her waist and pulls her in, feigning a scowl.]

I was gonna say we could split the bag, but now...

[controlledvariable]

[Saul she's going to break your arm.

Or just let herself be pulled in, close enough.]

I already took it.

[Looking at him like this should be obvious. Of course she already found the bag of coffee beans and stole it.

Of course.]

[5055034455]

And you're hiding it where, exactly?

[DOES HE HAVE TO PAT HER DOWN?]

[controlledvariable]

[Um no]

Mike took it back to my room for me.

[Mike is curled up asleep on Saul's bed, but she can pretend otherwise.]

[5055034455]

[And Saul

just

laughs.

She walked right into this one.]

So you've trained her to be a cat burglar?

[controlledvariable]

[God, she did.

She can't even pretend to be annoyed about it, just laughing instead, dropping her head to his shoulder while she tries to stop giggling.]

Mmhmm. We're pawsitively devious.

[get out.]

[5055034455]

[DARN YOU, STEPHANIE BROWN

DARN YOU TO HECK

So they've moved from cuddling in bed to cuddling in the kitchen, huh? Is that what's happening? Because it sure looks like that's what's happening, especially now that Saul's leaning against the counter with a giggling Stephanie still in his arms.]

That was bad and you should feel bad.

[controlledvariable]

I have no regrets.

[None of them.

At least about the puns, she's probably going to regret this closeness, later, when she can work up the energy to feel guilty again. Right now she just can't find it in herself to give a fuck.]

This is probably why Catwoman hates me.

[Selina doesn't hate Steph, don't listen to her.]

[5055034455]

[Oh, are there still fucks left to give? Where are they? Saul could use one or two right about now.

Or he can just nuzzle her hair instead. That works.]

Alas, not everyone appreciates the amount of mental dexterity that's required for punning.

[saul why do you sound british all of a sudden]

[controlledvariable]

[She pulls away enough that she can make a face at him.]

I'm not sure if that's what I'd call it.

[5055034455]

No?

[It's a cute face. He kisses it.]

What would you call it?