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[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

Comments

[lazyinlove]

which way is it?

[Maybe there'll be sandwiches...]

[5055034455]

That depends entirely on where you are at this point in time, doesn't it?

[lazyinlove]

um

yeah

so like from the window room it's left then

left

and the third left

so make that the first right actually

[5055034455]

[...wow, okay.]

Know what? I'll come to you. Are you near another room or anything? Can you give me a number?

[lazyinlove]

wanna meet in the cafeteria

[5055034455]

Good idea. Be there in 5.

[lazyinlove]

yes SIR

action!

[5055034455]

[And sure enough, 5 minutes later, Saul is in the cafeteria as promised.

He glances around, searching for Stan and Peace.]

[lazyinlove]

[It takes the kids longer to get there. Today, Peace doesn't want to go to the cafeteria. And she's discovered a new game. Deadweight.

When Stanley finally gets her there, he's red faced and huffing and people are definitely staring a bit, because the toddler over his shoulder keeps attempting to stick to doorways and slide out of his arms and cause general mayhem.

He drops down across from Saul with an irritated grunt, and keeps one hand wrapped gently around her elbow while she writhes dramatically on the floor.]

[5055034455]

[...oh, kids.

Saul manages not to chuckle even though he's really amused; what he does instead is fix Stan with a concerned sort of look, regarding Peace only for a moment.]

Trouble in paradise?

[lazyinlove]

She doesn't like walks anymore. You needed something?

[Yep, tired and cranky kids all around, by the sound of it.]

[5055034455]

What I need is to make sure my client is doing okay.

[And by the looks of it...]

[lazyinlove]

You think I have time to keep track of what he's up to? Man, I don't know. Less drugs than usual lying around lately. That's probably good, right? He's been a dick lately, but I think for him that's an improvement. Anyway, I don't care. Like I said, he's been a dick lately.

[And then by the sound of it, again. Oh, boy. Seems like Stanley really needs his beauty sleep to be happy. And if the big ugly shadows under his eyes are any indication, he's probably not getting it anymore.]

[5055034455]

[Cue a blank, blank stare.]

I'm talking about you, Stan.

[lazyinlove]

[...Wait, what? Hang on a sec, he needs to try and process that, but his brain isn't working. Being tired is actually way more disorienting than being stoned, who knew?]

You're checking on me? Why? What'd you hear?

[5055034455]

[And the look remains.]

I didn't hear anything. I'm just concerned, that's all.

[lazyinlove]

Oh.

[The suspicion in that becomes confusion, and slowly, a little sheepishness. Someone was actually checking on him? Weird. But...that's kind of nice of the dude.

And he probably shouldn't have gone off on the guy about Jesse, either. The morning had been kind of unpleasant, but Saul wasn't even around for that shit. He clears his throat, unsure how to answer.]

Jesse's fine. And Peace is fine. And I'm...you know.

[Stanley is tired. And miserable. But nobody ever asks you how you are because they want to actually know, right? Ugh.]

I'm fine. How are you?

[5055034455]

Bullshit.

[Saul leans back in his chair with a disapproving, skeptical look. Does Stan really think the bullshit king is going to believe so weak a response?]

You're not doing me any favors by lying, Stan. Try again.

[lazyinlove]

[He's called Saul out on enough bullshit that frankly, it only seems fair that he's finally getting it back. Yeah, he probably deserved that.

It's a little hard to say the next part. Stanley looks away for a moment, and then back at Saul to meet his eyes. He sighs.]

I think I need some help.

[5055034455]

[Ah, the first step to recovery. Saul's not smiling, of course, but he looks like he got the answer he wanted.]

Okay. What can I do?

[lazyinlove]

I dunno. Got some sleeping pills and free time? Know how to make something that isn't toast or spaghetti? Any idea who can cut hair around here? I guess you just wait for yours to fall out, right?

[See, the last part is supposed to be funny. Except he forgets to say it in a different tone, so it comes out sounding a lot less like a joke than intended.]

I know I'm a shitty parent, but like...

[Sigh.]

Last month I was still sleeping through algebra, you know? I don't know how to...I don't even know what it is I don't know how to do. You know how frustrating that is? Everyone getting on your case for fucking up, and for once you're really trying your hardest?

[He scowls for a second, but then realizes that none of that even answered the question. None of that is something Saul can do, is it?]

You...you do that mission list thing, right? Maybe you can add something for cats and little kids. And...poptarts, I don't know. Something that's...she just never sleeps. Like ever. And there's a cat. I never even had a goldfish.

[5055034455]

Okay, let me address these concerns in order: one, no, I'm not getting you drugs. Two, I offered to cook for you back in the city. That offer still stands. Three, ask the network, because there are a few people.

[And he'll ignore the hair comment, thanks.]

I know you're trying, Stan. And I don't think you're doing such a bad job, all things considered, but you can't be afraid to ask for help. There's a pile of people here who'd be happy to give you a hand.

[Himself included, but he hopes he doesn't have to say that.]

You can have some of the food and toys I brought back for my cat. As for Peace — yeah, we can get her stuff. What does she like? Dolls? Cars?

[lazyinlove]

I did...ask, I mean. I've asked. Kinda assumed that's why-anyway, I've asked.

[But he's not going to comment on that offer for food, for the humans and cats alike. Saul had offered before, and if he wasn't so freaked out by Stephanie, Stanley probably would've taken the guy up on it by now, too.

Maybe for Peace's sake it's time to swallow that pill. Even if the dude won't give him any drugs. Which is shitty, actually. Stanley totally gave Saul drugs, what's up with that?

The toy question is a little hard, too. He's never seen her playing with any. He's pretty sure she didn't have them at home. So he swings the conversation back to the familiar territory of giving Saul shit. There, that's better.]

I didn't take you for a cat guy.

[5055034455]

Yeah, well. A lot of people don't take me for a lot of things.

[Saul pushes a hair through his hair, jerking his head toward the kitchen. Whatever; if it makes Stan feel better to mess with him, then Saul will let it go.]

You two need to eat. When's the last time either of you had any protein?

[lazyinlove]

She doesn't like the protein bars.

[Sigh.]

Probably because they taste like shit. But she keeps spitting 'em back out. Why doesn't the moon have peanut butter?