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Anything good?

[Teasing.

...mostly.]

Ballet symphonies.

[Because why not.

She misses the grand piano in Wayne Manor.]

Oh.

[He sounds surprised, but not in a bad way.]

Is this where you tell me you used to do ballet?

[And she just rolls her eyes at him.]

I just like the music, it's good for patrolling.

[Not that she makes playlists of fight music for patrol or anything.

But she does.]

Oh, so what you're actually telling me is that you beat up criminals to the sweet sounds of The Nutcracker.

[Wait wait WAIT — ]

Or is it the sound of nut-cracking you enjoy more?

[She just - stares at him.]

Get out of my bed.

[She won't put up with jokes that terrible.]

[He laughs.]

Since when is it your bed?

I pay the rent, pretty sure that makes it my bed.

[just saying]

[Oh.

That actually shuts him up.

whoops]

[She sighs, then leans in for an apology kiss.]

I'm just teasing, McGill.

[He looks sheepish, drawing back once the kiss is broken. Saul doesn't want to make this about him.]

I know.

[Another bump of noses.]

[He might not want to make it about him, but she doesn't miss that sheepish look, so she runs her hand from his shoulder down his arm until she can tangle their fingers together.]

You know I don't care about any of that, right?

[That makes him smile more sincerely and give her hand a squeeze.]

I know, Steph.

[It's just that he's been feeling a little useless lately. He knows she didn't mean it the way he took it, but...

As long as he can still cheer her up, it's fine. He's fine.]

[After another quick kiss, she wwriggles until her face is hidden against the crook of his neck, which means he can't see her grin when she says:]

You do make a good housewife.

[Maybe teasing him about it will help.

Good logic.]

[He can't see it, but he can hear it.

Also, yes. That's very good logic because it works.]

Y'know, one day you're gonna come home and find me wearing that apron. [~pause for effect~] And nothin' else.

[open mouth, close mouth.]

Maybe you shouldn't do that.

I'll make sure the kids aren't home!

[Because that's obviously why she's protesting.]

[The kids.

Fuck.]

Not what I meant.

Then what did you mean?

[He smirks, lifting and turning his head just enough to press a kiss to her temple.]

That you'd willingly pass up such a wonderful opportunity?

More than willingly.

[Now she's just being a jerk.]

[She is. Saul feigns a pout.]

Wow.

[She nuzzles against his jaw in apology, though it might be ruined by the fact she's laughing a little.]

Love you.

[Ruined, or made better?

It's no fun if he can't joke around with the person he loves.]

But not the thought of my bare ass in a glittery pink apron, apparently.

[Nope, there she goes.

Her laughter's muffled against his neck, but it's still pretty obvious from the way her shoulder's are shaking with it.

That feels better.]

[He clicks his tongue in mock offense, huffing and sighing and — and tugging her on top of him so he can roll onto his back and give her a proper hug, apparently.]

cue funky 70s porno music

OH MY gOD

good afternoon ma'am did you order this pizza

NO I DONT WANT IT

are you sure? one pizza with extra babe?

i'm not even dignifying that with a response

but we even made it extra hot for you just like you wanted /STRIPS

PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON I'M CALLING YOUR MOTHER

NOT IF I CALL HER FIRST

wh

yeah that's right

you worry me

c:

leans back

C:

go to bed

i did

good B(

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

what did I do to deserve this

started talking to me

why did no one warn me

they wanted you to suffer

i thought they loved me

they lied