[exsilium] contact

[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

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[controlledvariable]

[Eventually, she laughs and nudges him away, just a little.]

Alright, Casanova, I did actually wanna talk.

[Not just make out, as much as that's nice.]

[5055034455]

[But she's perfectly able to talk as long as he isn't focused on her mouth!

Whatever. He pulls back — reluctantly — and sits on the nearest bed, assuming a look that says he's paying her total attention.]

About...?

[controlledvariable]

[She isn't sure whether she should sit or not, and ends up just bouncing a little hesitantly on the balls of her feet.]

This. Us.

[She doesn't want him to start worrying, so she gives him a wry smile and a shrug.]

Not sorting things out with Ellie from the get-go was a mistake I don't wanna make again.

[And she really doesn't wanna fuck this up.]

[5055034455]

[It's a good thing she adds the smile to that, because otherwise...

He lets out a little breath, then nods.]

Yeah, of course.

[controlledvariable]

[She decides the smile wasn't enough, and adds a (gentle) kick to his leg.]

Don't look at me like that, I just wanna know where we stand.

[Maybe they can just talk about this and it can be casual, instead of awkward and fraught.]

I mean-- we can't exactly make a public thing of it, 'cause I'm a little worried about how some of my friends from back home would take it.

[hahah they'd kill him.]

[5055034455]

Are you kidding? Helena would totally give us her blessing. And Oracle, and Robin, and whoever else from Gotham is here.

[hahahahaha no he's joking.

She has a point, though, and it's one he's considered already. Lips twisting into a slight frown, he shrugs his shoulders.]

So we'll be careful, that's all. We're both used to being sneaky. It'll be fine.

[controlledvariable]

[welp.]

Oracle, uh. Sort of knows.

["Sort of".

She'd address his other point but she's busy looking really sheepish.]

[5055034455]

...she does?

[Thanks, Steph.

Now Saul's going to spend the rest of his life in fear that some costumed vigilante is going to come swooping out of the shadows and break his legs.]

[controlledvariable]

She's okay with it. [a beat] Or, well... she trusts me enough to not think I need someone to swoop in and rescue me.

[And she wrinkles her nose, because pls.]

[5055034455]

And this Oracle — she knows who I am? She didn't try to talk you out of it?

[Because that sure doesn't add up.]

[controlledvariable]

[It's hard to fight down a smile at that, but she manages.

Babs definitely knows who he is.]

Unlike pretty much every other Bat, she's willing to let me make my own decisions. Well, when she's not showing my autopsy photos to complete strangers.

[wow steph you sound bitter]

[5055034455]

[Yeah, she does.

Saul has no idea what to say to that, so he just looks at her, hoping his expression hasn't turned too pleading.

Can they not talk about this?]

[controlledvariable]

[She sighs, scrubbing a hand over her face.]

Sorry, not the point.

[At all.]

She's not gonna give us any trouble. But yeah, we're gonna have to be subtle, which I swear I can do.

[really!]

[5055034455]

[Subtlety would be easier if they were back in Exsilium. At least there they had the safe house; here they just have cold, empty rooms that kind of echo.

It's really unfortunate.

He wonders, a little idly, if he should tell Jesse. Eventually, maybe.]

We don't really have a choice. Your friends aside, Sonya would probably smack the shit out of me. And Effie, Jesus...

[Effie would probably set him on fire, or something.]

[controlledvariable]

[The look of oh shit is so clear on her face there might as well be a neon sign spelling it out.]

Um. Are you and Effie still...?

[vague hand gestures!!!]

[5055034455]

No. I broke it off with her after the kidnappings.

[Literally immediately after.

...well, almost literally.

Since Saul made it a point to see Stephanie first.]

She's pissed.

[controlledvariable]

[She can't really hide the sigh of relief, either.]

I'd be kind of pissed, too.

[Although this sort of neatly brings her to her next point:]

Are we gonna be, you know, exclusive?

[She manages to say it casually, like she's just asking if he'd prefer a cappucino or a latte, but she's feeling a little unsure.

The problem is that she doesn't know what answer she wants.]

[5055034455]

[The best part is that she doesn't know what Saul told Effie!

Which was the truth, sans details.

Steph's next question surprises him, so much so that his initial response is to just blink at her. He's not sure why he assumed they would be, considering... well, both of them, but...

One corner of his mouth twitches, almost like he's about to smile.]

I'm not interested in anyone else.

[controlledvariable]

[That's.... ugh.]

Shut up.

[But there's no vehemence in it, if anything, she sounds like she might be a little flustered, and she has to duck her head to hide the fact she's blushing.]

[5055034455]

[Ah, there's the smile he'd been holding back. He laughs a little, too, leaning forward so he can peer at her face.]

You okay, Steph?

[controlledvariable]

I'm pretty sure I told you to shut up.

[brb hiding her face in her hands]

[5055034455]

[brb standing back up and pulling her into a hug so he can mumble against her hair:] I love you.

[controlledvariable]

[Feelings are so gross.]

You're a jerk.

[Don't ask how she came to that conclusion, though at least she returns the hug, after a second.]

I love you, too.

[5055034455]

[It's pretty much fact, let's be real.

He's quiet for about a minute, then, mulling over the question a bit more. He could say yes, but he knows just as well as anyone that another person might come along, and look at what happened between Steph and Ellie. And he and Effie. He doesn't want either of them to deal with that kind of guilt again.

But he also doesn't want to entertain the possibility of anyone else stealing Steph's heart. He's not worried about himself; he's so far gone that Steph is all he can think about, but she's... her. She's flirty in a way he isn't. And she's young. And gorgeous. And he's lucky, but is he really that lucky?]

Do you want to be...?

[controlledvariable]

[She considers asking again, for real, but the fact he's silent instead of moving on to another topic makes her think he's considering the question, so she keeps quiet, too.

And then he turns the question around on her, and she knew that was probably going to happen, but it doesn't make it easier to find an answer.]

That's kind of the thing, I'm not sure. [which she knows is kind of bullshit, so:] I just don't know if I'm cut out for the whole monogamy thing. And I felt so shitty, these last few months.

[She doesn't think she'll need to elaborate on what she means by that.]

But I don't wanna say no and have you agree just 'cause you don't wanna make me feel bad; that'd just be worse in the end.

[With a sigh, she pulls back enough that she can look at him.]

I mean-- Is this a relationship? Is that what you want? Because I do, I just... I've never done anything like this before.

[Whatever the hell this is.

She didn't even answer the question.]