[exsilium] contact

[5055034455]

№ 150



❝ This is Saul Goodman. Leave a message. ❞

Comments

text

[lazyinlove]

hey can you tell Jesse to stop being a dick next time you see him? his name's still on the lists but my texts and calls keep getting bounced. I didn't do anything I told people he WASN'T gonna hurt anyone.

[5055034455]

Jesse went home. I think the network's malfunctioning with the lists, so pay no attention to that. He's not being a dick and ignoring you.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Things have been a little crazy.

[lazyinlove]

oh

[5055034455]

But people sometimes come back, so

[lazyinlove]

No. This place sucks. It's better if he's at home. Maybe he can sort his shit out and be alright.

[5055034455]

[Ah, bless text messages and their lack of ability to show when someone's tearing up~]

That's what I'm hoping.

How are you holding up?

[lazyinlove]

I'm cold and depressed and angry. What do you expect? But I'm fine I guess. I'm going to find a mission or something I need to get the fuck out of here.

[5055034455]

Sounds like a good plan to me. Get out, explore. Be useful. All those fun things.

Who are you staying with?

[lazyinlove]

I'm not. And useful would be turning the heat back on around here but I dunno how to do that. Maybe there's a mission that involves getting a hotel room and sleeping I'd kill that. I'm not gonna help with war bullshit.

[5055034455]

Put some feelers out and see who needs a roomie. I'd offer you space where I am, but Steph and I have a full house.

Alternatively, you could go back to the moon? It was warmer there. But I wouldn't mind it if you wound up close by so I'm sure someone (me) is at least feeding you.

[lazyinlove]

It's not just the snow.

[5055034455]

What else is it? The latest addition to the "shitty memories" pile?

[lazyinlove]

Look I know people are supposed to just handle it when shit happens and I tried to but I don't think I can. they're not just memories. They're people. And they keep dying. over and over. and it's us. we're the ones who keep killing them. you want me to be okay with that? I'm not.

[5055034455]

I'm not asking you to be okay with anything.

What I'm saying is, this isn't going to get easier.

I can give you the name of a doctor who was helping Jesse, if you want to give talking to someone qualified to help with this sort of thing a try.

[lazyinlove]

Fuck that. If I ever find a way to accept it I want someone to hit me. I don't want to feel better. I should feel like shit. So should you. We should all feel like shit.

[5055034455]

When did I say I don't feel like shit?

[lazyinlove]

Who do you talk to about it?

[5055034455]

Stephanie, a little. But I don't unload all of it onto her if I can help it — that's not fair. Too much to ask.

And when I'm not talking to her about this shit, I'm having some very lengthy conversations in my head.

Thinking of contacting Dr. Hoffman for a session or two myself, to be honest.

[lazyinlove]

It was a week ago wasn't it

[5055034455]

Yeah, why?

[lazyinlove]

can't hide anymore

[5055034455]

?

[lazyinlove]

Never mind. I'll steal you some prozac when I'm getting the good stuff. or at least a couple klonopin

[5055034455]

I'm good, but thanks for the offer.

I seriously think you should consider talking with Julia instead of going for the drugs. If she thinks you need them, then by all means take her advice.

[lazyinlove]

She thinks I'm a dead prankster. Besides I never take scrips don't worry.